Forever
by mageturtle
Summary: Pacing back and forth is what you do in these situations, deciding on whether or not you should end your life. Danisnotonfire/you(reader)


_A short story i wrote after reading some '#Imagine's, about you and Dan. contains self harm_

_i wrote this around 4 AM so please forgive any mistakes and shizzle.._

_Music helped me again.. thanks to Bring me the horizon, Of mice & men, and All time low_

* * *

Pacing back and forth is what you do in these situations, deciding on whether or not you should end your life. You've been cutting forever, but now the last straw has been broken.

_Stepped on_.

_Trampled_.

_Crushed_.

You're sitting in your room, not bothering to change out of your PJs, there's no point anymore. Standing up to grab your trusty razor, your foot catches on something, you lean down and pick up a large book with the words scribbled on the front

"_Best memories :P_"

Yes, this is the book filled with pictures and items from your life with Dan and Phil, so many treasures, so many memories. Almost a shame that they'll all soon be a blip in their lives, soon to be forgotten from the minds of your friends 'it'll all be over soon..' you tell yourself, attempting to make yourself feel better about your choices

You toss the book onto your bed and quickly make your way to the desk, pulling out the bottom left drawer, you see the glimmering object wedged in the back. Your hands snake around items until finally, you grasp it in your hands, staring at it while you pull it from its cave

Small, but can take a life

Walking back to the bed, you feel tears beginning to well in your eyes, but you hold them in. You sit on the corner of the bed, and stare

Stare at the wrists you've cut so many times, the ones that have caused so much torment in your life, every bit of pain, the memories of Dan and Phil finding out about you self harming, them finding you in a pool of your own blood and tears, so much pain.

Not anymore though, you're taking the easy way out, the coward's road

Dan has a girlfriend now. It's your own fault too, dragging him to your favorite band's concert, he would've never met her. You had your chance for so long, but you didn't want to ruin your friendship

you didn't need to worry about Dan getting a girlfriend when he was always saying how great being single was, you thought you would eventually tell him, but when you were ready.

When you were too late.

Now, you're in your room, Dan and Phil are both home, they'll probably find you around dinner time. lying on the floor, covered in blood, your cold lifeless face drilling pain forever in their souls. But Dan's happy, and Phil will be happy, someday

You can't take anymore, your eyes are stinging with tears, and you slash.

The blade goes deep in your skin, leaving officially permanent scars, you keep slashing, blood seeping out from your wounds, you switch to your other wrist, but the razor slips out of your grasp and falls to the floor. You begin to loudly sob

'There's no point.'

'There's no reason I should live.'

'Just let me **_die_**.'

You slip off the bed and land on your right side, your legs pull up to your chest and your bloody arms cover your face as your cries meld with the carpet. Suddenly, a loud knocking at your door causes a jolt in your appearance

'(y/n)? Are you okay?' Dan's voice clouds your mind and a single strangled sob escapes, you hear a click, and look up

Dan and Phil are standing in your doorway with wide eyes, you forgot to lock the door, of course. You curl back up into a tight ball and continue crying, until you feel a pair of warm arms around you, lifting you and resting you on the bed. Phil and Dan both have a look of utter pain on their faces, Dan runs to the bathroom, and Phil sits on your bed, taking your hands gently in his

Dan comes back with bandages and wet cloths.

He hands some to Phil, and they both get to work softly cleaning your wounds.

you're still quietly sobbing, and when they're done, Dan pulls you in for a tight, loving hug. Your hands clench his shirt as you sob into his chest, waiting for him to get mad at you

'I'm s-sorry' you choke out between sobs, gasping for air like a fish out of water

His gentle voice tells you 'its okay' while his hands trace patterns on your back. You're slowly calming down, when your voice is just a soft breath, he sits you up

but you don't dare look at him.

'(y/n). (y/n), please' he cups your face in his hands, and gently forces you to look up at him, his eyes are full of concern 'please tell me why' he's at the brink of crying, you don't how to handle this, Dan never cries

'Ilveu' you mumble out, his eyes prick up and he leans in closer

'What?'

'I..' you stop, should you really? Should you really say your true feelings to the boy with the girlfriend?

'I love you.' Nothing more nothing less comes out of your mouth, your gaze caught in his, when out of nowhere

You don't know what's happening.

_soft_.

_wet_.

_pink_.

Dan's lips are latched onto yours, locked together in a passionate embrace. He breaks away, leaning his forehead against yours, leaving you completely shocked 'I love you too' his words leave his lips no higher than a whisper

'I always have' the truth comes out of Dan now, it just took a suicidal girl on a cloudy day

'What about what's-her-face?' You ask, a small smile forming on your lips as he snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him

'We broke up, she was nothing compared to you'

You feel his fingers trailing up and down your back, sending shivers down your spine. He turns you around so your back is to him, and you're facing Phil. with a loving smile, Phil leans in and kisses your forehead before pulling you into a lion hug _( Phil's version of a bear hug) _

For once in your life, though it took a lifetime of pain, for once in your life everything is right.

As Phil lets you go, Dan plants a quick kiss on your neck while his fingers intertwine with yours.

One more time, _please_?

'I love you' you whisper to him

'I love you too, (y/n)' his lips find yours, and you kiss together. He's protecting you now, no more need for razors and scissors.

He loves you.

_Forever_.

* * *

_yaaaaaaay.. it's really foggy outside ._. its like the clouds are trying to rape us omfg._

_so uhm, I'm still working on the longterm Danisnotonfire fic, but i decided to restart everything so I'm working on the first chapter, woo._

_._

_._

_._

_I'm gonna go now... _


End file.
